EFT... who knew!!!!

Danny's new therapist specializes in adoption and attachment issues and we are very thankful she is working with Danny. We had spent a few months with a therapist who Danny bonded with nicely, however he blamed me for all of Danny's issues. He blamed my expectations. I looked hard within myself to see if this could truly be the crux of Danny's issues but quickly shook myself out of that delusion because I know Danny's background. I know the torture this child endured. I know the losses he has had to bear. The last straw for us with this therapist was that he didnt believe in dreams being meaningful. This therapist is awesome for typical adolescent boy stuff, not so much adoption and attachment.

I dont think Danny has slept a full night in the 13 months we have had him. Many nights, I come downstairs to get a drink or to check on a noise and there is Danny, sitting on the couch, wrapped in his blanket watching tv, or hiding his head.

We have had to put a side rail on his bed because of how often he has fallen out and hurt himself. The child is exhausted all day long, yawning, unable to focus because of these nightmares. They most often were about losing us or losing someone. They were often violent, many times he'd have to watch us all be killed, or he'd be trying to find us and couldnt, or he'd be running to us and not move etc etc. Sometimes they were about his days in Shanghai house of horrors, sometimes they'd be about his birthfamily. Regardless of what they were about, he was suffering.

His new therapist, who is AWESOME!, suggested EFT (emotional freedom technique) also known as tapping. I am not typically one to jump on treatments that seem weird, it took me years and years to realize the chiropractors were not quacks. I dont come to these new techniques easily, but when it comes to my children, I leave no stone unturned. We tried it. The first night we tried it, I worried because Danny woke up with loose teeth. He either was gritting his teeth so hard, or something else so violent in his sleep that his teeth were moved. I panicked and spoke to his therapist who suggested doing it at a time other than bed time and that it could be done more than once.

The way it works involves tapping firmly on specific key spots on your body, and while tapping, repeat your "mantra". For Danny we change it occasionally. He started with "even though I have terrible nightmares, I am loved by my family and worth being loved and protected from harm". He repeats this 4 or 5 times during the tapping. We recently changed it to affect other behaviors. For example, "Even though sometimes my siblings annoy me, they love me and want the best for me".

The shocking thing is, on Tuesday, I came downstairs at about 8:00 and Danny was NOT on the couch. When he finally woke up, about 9:30, I asked him if he had been up during the night and he said "no, my nightmares are gone". It had been a week since he'd had a nightmare, and I'm happy to report, there were no more this week. The people who I have spoken to who have tried this EFT technique, they have all had success. There was not one person who it didnt work for. For one child, after one session, she stopped wetting the bed every night, for others it involved nailbiting, or food aversion, or other behaviors that needed help. I have to say, as odd as it seems while we are doing it, it worked for my son.